When I first started my business over 20 years ago, I was trying to think of a name that encompassed what I did.
I love alliteration and when during a brainstorming session the name Persuasive Presentations leapt out, I thought YES!
Because great speakers do more than engage and entertain, they move people to action.
I was excitingly telling someone about my business plan, and I could see her mouth scrunch in distaste, and she asked, ‘Do you really want to call it that?’
‘Yeah,’ I replied, ‘Why do you ask?’
‘Well,’ she said ‘Persuasion is a little icky…’
🤔
And every time I deliver my Persuasion and Influence workshop I see ‘flickers of ick’ fly across people’s faces.
So, lets address this.
We all need to be able to persuade to:
- Get the job
- Ask someone out
- Work with colleagues
- Move your son to empty the dishwasher
- Sell our ideas
Persuasion means to win people over, the challenge is that people confuse persuasion with its evil twin, MANIPULATION.
The difference is about is about intent, transparency and respect.
With persuasion your intent is to help someone make an informed decision that benefits them (and possibly you).
You demonstrate transparency and are open and honest by laying your cards on the table.
You respect the person’s ability to choose freely.
The objective is to achieve a win-win. Even if you don’t agree, the other person feels heard and not coerced.
With manipulation your intent is to control or deceive someone for your own gain.
There is a lack of transparency, demonstrated by hidden motives and withholding or twisting information.
There is little Respect shown. The manipulator disregards the other person’s autonomy.
Tactics used include guilt-tripping, gaslighting, exaggeration and selective truth.
The result of this is often win–lose. The other person ends up feeling used and regret afterward.
Manipulation is not sustainable as it kills relationships. Eventually you will be found out and people will avoid you.
When in doubt, ask yourself, ‘Would I want to be influenced the way I’m trying to influence them?’
Unfortunately, persuasion is not a quick fix, but it is better to use pleasant, patience, persistence than risk lobbing a hand grenade and blowing up the bridge.
- Giving birth to a business - September 3, 2026
- Everyday persuasion #4: Social proof in action - August 14, 2026
- The Rules of Attention - July 31, 2026
