I applied for a TEDx talk. 🙂
I got shortlisted 😃
I didn’t make the final cut. 😕
But this idea? It’s too good not to share.
Introducing The Goldilocks Triangle, a framework for communication that’s not too soft, not too hard, but just right.
Passive is too soft.
Pushy is too hard.
Persuasion is just right.
Where do you start?
Begin in the passive zone.
Why? Because not every situation demands action. Sometimes choosing not to engage is the wisest move, but make it a conscious choice, not a default.
Stay passive too long, and your ideas, boundaries, and voice risk being overlooked or ignored.
Where do you go next?
It’s tempting to swing towards pushy. Pushy gets results fast, but it comes at a cost: damaged relationships, resistance, and burnout.
It works once, maybe twice. Then people start pushing back.
Is pushy ever okay? Yes, in moments of urgency or risk, but it shouldn’t be your go-to.
Instead, take the high road: persuasion.
Passive–Persuasion Path
This is the path of influence.
- Start by sparking curiosity
- Clarify your objective
- Understand their wants and needs
- Build rapport and trust
Persuasion isn’t about winning against someone; it’s about winning them over.
That means tailoring your message to resonate with them.
As you move forward, your communication becomes assertive, clear, respectful, and effective.
Persuasive–Pushy Path
This is when things get murky.
When persuasion tips into manipulation, you’re no longer influencing you are controlling.
Your needs start to override theirs.
That’s not persuasion, that’s coercion.
Passive–Pushy Path
This path is paved with frustration.
You feel unheard, you lash out, you slip into passive-aggressive communication, which is clear, disrespectful, and ultimately confrontational.
It’s a lose–lose.
Want to know more?
I’ve built this concept into my Persuasion and Influence Workshop and developed a keynote around it.
If you’re ready to help your team become persuasive and influential communicators, let’s talk.
I’d love to explore how we can bring The Goldilocks Triangle to life in your organisation.
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